03

2021

李海妹 Lauralee
东北育才学校高级教师、求师得数位学习联合创办人、《数字故事讲述》课程主持人
全国创新英语大赛总冠军特级辅导教师、全国中小学生英语大赛团体赛全国总冠军指导教师、沈阳市名师进课堂讲师团成员...

读后续写写作攻略
读后续写中读的过程要做到找、划、猜。找文章的主题,划出表现人物性格/推动情节发展的词句,猜测故事的内容走向。
下面我们以沈阳市二模为例演示写作过程。
1.找主题 Theme: kindness from strangers
2.编内容
Para 1 接到电话后担心紧张;打手机询问打不通;决定转钱
Para 2 紧张被店员注意;店员报警真相大白;感激/升华
3.分配细节
Para 1 担心紧张的心理/表情描写;决定转钱时的连动
Para 2 两人对话的语言描写 ;得知真相后的心理描写
4.写草稿
Para 1 Cecil was totally at a loss. Astonished and suspicious, he called David's mobile phone to see what happened. However, the line was busy, which made him more anxious. Worrying about his grandson, he found his credit card and set off for Walmart.
Para 2 The lucky part of Cecil's day was when he stepped into cashier Audrella's line in Wal-Mart. "How can I help you?" she asked gently. "I need to transfer $2300 to another store."said Cecil nervously. Sensing his nervousness, Audrella asked if everything was okay. After Cecil told her the whole story, Audrella called the police. When two officers arrived, Cecil were calm again and realized that the whole thing was a phone scam. Cecil held Audrella's hands, and thanked her sincerely for her kindness and love.

5.语言润色
Para 1 Cecil was totally at a loss. With a mixture of astonishment and suspicion, he called David's mobile phone, attempting to figure out what on earth had happened. However, after calling up to 10 times, the line was busy all along, which only added to his anxiety all the more. Worrying about his grandson, feeling no time to waste, he took his credit card, started the car and off he went.
Para 2 The lucky part of Cecil's day was when he stepped into cashier Audrella's line in Wal-Mart. "How can I help you?" she asked gently. "I...I need to transfer $2300 to...to another...store." stammered Cecil, sweat rolling down his forehead. Sensing his nervousness, Audrella couldn't help asking if everything was okay. With a shaking voice and reddened eyes, Cecil told her the whole story, pinning all his hopes on this young girl he'd never met before. Burning with mounting suspicion, Audrella called the police. With the arrival of two officers, Cecil regained his calm and came to the realization that the whole thing turned out to be nothing but a phone scam. Holding Audrella's hands tightly, Cecil couldn't thank her enough and gave her $100 in reward, knowing too well that no price was too high for the random act of kindness and love.
Continue reading »

06


俗话说,临阵磨枪......全在收口。
又到了一年一度的高考,高考英语作文需要注意哪些方面呢? Laura为考生做一个简单的总结:

①审题:画出重点,不跑题,确定文章体裁。
②写提纲:以短语形式确定每一段每一句的内容。
③内容:言之有物,有说服力(convincing)。
④逻辑:注意要点之间的逻辑以及段落之间的衔接
⑤语言:出彩句子的比例(30-40%);做到长短句结合、用词准确地道;偶尔使用被动;避免句式、单词的重复使用等。

下面是Laura老师写的几篇例文,供考生参考。内容包括成语、汉字听写大赛、学中文、中国文学作品、中国古诗词、高铁、通知、申请信、邀请信、求助信、推荐信。

假定你是李华,你的外国笔友Peter对中国成语很感兴趣,向你咨询有关中国成语的信息,请你写一封信,包括以下内容:
简单介绍成语的特点;学习成语的益处;分享自己学习成语的感受和体会

Dear Peter
I'm glad that you are interested in Chinese idioms. And I'm writing to give you a brief introduction.
Acknowledged as the treasure of Chinese culture, Chinese idioms enjoys huge popularity with its rich content and brief language. With only 4 Chinese characters, they depict historical stories and express profound meanings at the same time. Therefore, it is of huge benefits to learn them. You will find it an effective way to understand Chinese culture, enrich knowledge and express yourself.
As for me, I often find myself immersed in the vivid stories, which in turn strengthens my memory and understanding. And my language learning has reached a new level as a result.
Hope you find the above helpful. If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me.
I sincerely hope you can learn them well.
Continue reading »

26


作文讲评@2018年沈阳市高中三年级教学质量检测1

假定你是李华,想要邀请外教Jim参加学校课外活动--京剧脸谱艺术展。请你给他写一封电子邮件,内容包括:
1. 活动的时间和地点;
2. 活动内容(看展出,画脸谱)。
注意:
1. 词数100左右;
2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;
3. 开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇:京剧脸谱Peking Opera facial make-up n.(U)
Dear Jim

分析:作文要求读起来似曾相识,和2017年辽宁高考英语作文几乎一致。2017年的作文是邀请外教参观剪纸艺术展,邮件的内容包括展览时间、地点和展览内容。所以如果同学们写过2017年的作文,只需略微改动就可以了。
此次评卷过程中发现了如下问题:
1. 不会写开头。
2. Body部分拓展的内容与文章主题无关
3. 不会正确表达邀请。
我们来看以下几篇文章


本篇文章从内容上讲,Body部分问题较大。拓展内容过细,在100词左右的作文中,没有必要做过于细致的拓展。什么是适度拓展呢,同学们可以写一写京剧是中国传统文化中的瑰宝及其重要性,脸谱不同的颜色代表了不同的人物性格(如果非要写不同颜色代表的意义,可以一句话带过),通过参观脸谱展可以进一步了解中国文化....这些内容都是适度的拓展,所起到的作用是向对方介绍参观此次展览可能的收获,对方也就很乐于接受邀请了。另外还要注意,作文的要点是活动的时间地方和活动内容,拓展的话不要写太多,两句足够,三句稍多。

这篇文章第二段读起来很不自然,并非语言上的问题,而是内容。第二段的内容在告知对方展览地点、交通方式、并提醒对方带教师证。这段文字可以保留展览时间和地点,至于交通方式和携带教师证属于考生自己添加的内容,虽然作文要求可以增加细节,但细节的添加应该围绕要点。这种问题应该如何避免呢?大家可以逆向思维。这段文字的写作要求应该是:学校将于下周二组织师生去辽宁博物馆参观脸谱展,请通知师生并提醒携带有效证件。所以说,这段文字是在写通知。

这篇文章是东北育才学校高中部1501班刘霏同学的作文。本篇作文流畅自然,要点全面,语言地道,拓展适度。开头简洁,直接点明写信目的,结尾告知展览的意义和好处,增加对方接受邀请的可能性。

下文是Laura老师写的一篇邀请信,仅做参考。

假如你是李华,你想邀请你的美国朋友Mr. Smith与你一起参观中国画展。请你根据以下要点给他写一封电子邮件。
要点:
1、介绍画展
①中外名画 ②展览日期:5月1日-- 6日
③地点:市艺术博物馆
2、约定会面的时间与地点。

Dear Smith
It's been a while since we last met. How's everything going? Recently, there will be a painting exhibition and I'm writing to invite you to visit it with me.
The exhibition, open to anyone interested, will be held in the Art Museum and last from 25th to 30th of this month. Masterpieces from home and abroad will be on display. The exhibition is not only a feast for the eye, but also an opportunity to learn traditional Chinese culture as well.
If you are interested, shall we meet at Yucai school at 9:00 on 25th? Your company would be highly appreciated. Looking forward to your reply.

下面的视频是Laura老师以2016年辽宁高考英语作文为例,系统讲解高考英语作文的写作步骤,希望大家能有所收获。
https://v.qq.com/x/page/o0381097e8f.html