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作文讲评@2018年沈阳市高中三年级教学质量检测1

假定你是李华,想要邀请外教Jim参加学校课外活动--京剧脸谱艺术展。请你给他写一封电子邮件,内容包括:
1. 活动的时间和地点;
2. 活动内容(看展出,画脸谱)。
注意:
1. 词数100左右;
2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;
3. 开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。
参考词汇:京剧脸谱Peking Opera facial make-up n.(U)
Dear Jim

分析:作文要求读起来似曾相识,和2017年辽宁高考英语作文几乎一致。2017年的作文是邀请外教参观剪纸艺术展,邮件的内容包括展览时间、地点和展览内容。所以如果同学们写过2017年的作文,只需略微改动就可以了。
此次评卷过程中发现了如下问题:
1. 不会写开头。
2. Body部分拓展的内容与文章主题无关
3. 不会正确表达邀请。
我们来看以下几篇文章


本篇文章从内容上讲,Body部分问题较大。拓展内容过细,在100词左右的作文中,没有必要做过于细致的拓展。什么是适度拓展呢,同学们可以写一写京剧是中国传统文化中的瑰宝及其重要性,脸谱不同的颜色代表了不同的人物性格(如果非要写不同颜色代表的意义,可以一句话带过),通过参观脸谱展可以进一步了解中国文化....这些内容都是适度的拓展,所起到的作用是向对方介绍参观此次展览可能的收获,对方也就很乐于接受邀请了。另外还要注意,作文的要点是活动的时间地方和活动内容,拓展的话不要写太多,两句足够,三句稍多。

这篇文章第二段读起来很不自然,并非语言上的问题,而是内容。第二段的内容在告知对方展览地点、交通方式、并提醒对方带教师证。这段文字可以保留展览时间和地点,至于交通方式和携带教师证属于考生自己添加的内容,虽然作文要求可以增加细节,但细节的添加应该围绕要点。这种问题应该如何避免呢?大家可以逆向思维。这段文字的写作要求应该是:学校将于下周二组织师生去辽宁博物馆参观脸谱展,请通知师生并提醒携带有效证件。所以说,这段文字是在写通知。

这篇文章是东北育才学校高中部1501班刘霏同学的作文。本篇作文流畅自然,要点全面,语言地道,拓展适度。开头简洁,直接点明写信目的,结尾告知展览的意义和好处,增加对方接受邀请的可能性。

下文是Laura老师写的一篇邀请信,仅做参考。

假如你是李华,你想邀请你的美国朋友Mr. Smith与你一起参观中国画展。请你根据以下要点给他写一封电子邮件。
要点:
1、介绍画展
①中外名画 ②展览日期:5月1日-- 6日
③地点:市艺术博物馆
2、约定会面的时间与地点。

Dear Smith
It's been a while since we last met. How's everything going? Recently, there will be a painting exhibition and I'm writing to invite you to visit it with me.
The exhibition, open to anyone interested, will be held in the Art Museum and last from 25th to 30th of this month. Masterpieces from home and abroad will be on display. The exhibition is not only a feast for the eye, but also an opportunity to learn traditional Chinese culture as well.
If you are interested, shall we meet at Yucai school at 9:00 on 25th? Your company would be highly appreciated. Looking forward to your reply.

下面的视频是Laura老师以2016年辽宁高考英语作文为例,系统讲解高考英语作文的写作步骤,希望大家能有所收获。
https://v.qq.com/x/page/o0381097e8f.html

26

感谢谢雨伽同学的整理和分享。


Continue reading »

21


关注求师得数位学习(qiutopia):为自己的学习掌舵,我们一起加油~

2017好像还在昨天,2018年已经开始了6%。寒假来临之际,求师得数位学习正在开启第7期。这个寒假,不论你身在省内还是省外,不论你是高中生还是初中生,不论你学理还是学文,都不妨碍你报名参加求师得数位学习(微信查找并关注qiutopia,无需单独报名,有作业提交帮助菜单...)。这里有老师、有学生,有高中生、有初中生还有大学生,有省内外的学生也有留学生...关键在这里可能会有不一样的你。“动态数理”和“数字讲述”两门课程诚挚邀请“热爱学习、欣赏学习”的你参与...

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求师得数位学习完全免费,不仅老师和助教们是义务的,课程所需要的软件和网络服务也是免费的,比如Geogebra、iMovie、作业提交的百度云等。如能顺利完成五周的课程(四周合格即可)还会获得沈阳市教育局、教育研究院认可的精美证书、沈阳市在线选修学分,同时有机会获邀参加午餐会...


2017年11月30日,求师得数位学习2017结业分享会在奥林匹克学术报告厅召开。
东北育才教育集团高琛校长、沈阳市教育局基教二处王立华、沈阳市教育研究院高中教研中心高敏主任、沈阳市教育研究院现代教育技术中心田露主任、 康平县高级中学崔丽娟校长、 集团孙永河副校长、科学高中部张军主任、超常教育实验部王雪飞主任、业务指导部廉丽丽主任莅临现场并为学员颁发证书。


·求师得数位学习2017分享会
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求师得数位学习得到东北育才学校、沈阳市教育局基教二处和沈阳市教育研究院的大力支持~


教师团队
邱发文、李海妹(高中部)、郭莹(理科部)、纪璇(超常部)、李峰(江苏仪征)
学长后援团
王禹程(复旦大学)、张鸿业(Drexel University)、张潇勇、杨洛、沈冠霖、李瀚文(清华大学)、徐逸宁、崔舒洋(北京外国语大学)、叶宇晨(北京大学)、闫冠宇(新加坡国立大学)、康书宁(悉尼大学)、赵翔宇、孙铭隆(剑桥大学)、赵天浩(武汉大学)、张真源(滑铁卢大学)、尤一宁(中科大)、孟琪峰(北京邮电大学)...

东北育才教育集团
......
沈阳市教育局基础教育二处
沈阳市教育研究院


十二 31


年末了,收到任课班级送来的新年日历的礼物,喜欢这喜庆的烫金封面和“把日子过成诗”的调调~

前几天不经意翻到“2013这一年”的旧文[?],除了看到上进的背影,也想起曾有过年终写总结的惯例,去年的“2017会对我更好一点”[?]只算是年终的感慨吧。这几年常规的教学任务有增无减,连续高三、三个理科班,加之“求师得数位学习”实践活动的推行,平日少了很多感性的时间,最多只是利用上下班的路上走走拍拍,发个微博记录下生活的点滴。至于今年能否写个总结,心里还是没底,谁知能不能中间被调去出分流题呢?还好,感谢领导照顾,但都这把年纪了还会为工作的事忐忑,唉...

前两天菊姐说她以前常看我博客的,问现在还写不写。就过去了的一年,去了几个地方、读几本书,也收获了不少,如此这些琐碎,以往多少有些记录,自己也懒着再梳理了。趁着还有点闲,还是吐吐槽,吐一槽苦水吧。
Don't get it right, just get it written. - James Thurber
印象中,工作二十多年是第二次请了一周的病假,2008年肺炎那次还是在期末[?])。大上周学部大会,教学主任总结中提到我病假一周,上周食堂早餐,德育主任还主动问起病情,这两天学部教化学和教数学的两位骨干相继住院,大家都很敏感,也议论纷纷...我目前只是咽炎,想来有点惭愧。虽然工作生活大家各有各的不易,但平日感冒挺到好的那些老师们着实更不易。我甚至好奇,这里什么样的遭遇能唤起同情?同情究竟长什么样呢?

“人的一生有一个半童年。一个童年在自己小时候,而半个童年在自己孩子的小时候。” 按余光中的说法,消极了讲,我最多有半个童年,还是长大后从老家那零零散散听来的。但乐观想,当教师的多少也能从学生那得到点童年的补偿,按照100个学生补偿0.1个童年计算的话,我的童年也会比平常人多不少。以后大家看到课堂上淘气的我要多多担待,权当是对我童年缺失的补偿吧。

年末了,各班课代表来邀请参加元旦班会,我坦白讲了不会参加。他们还不太了解课堂外的我通常把人群当成沙漠,况且那节日恐惧症的阴影犹在[?]...课代表阿龙说他也不喜欢群体的娱乐。还说,午间从楼上常常看到我一个人低着头快步走向教学楼,而别的老师三五成群的...其实与这学期午间运动从篮球改成跑步有关,加之嗓子不好,课下也尽量少说话。当然,我也很是享受“内心的狂欢”...


没有18岁的旧照,让我的手机摄影启蒙老师拍了张新的[?],当是辞旧迎新纪念吧,不过和本文情绪有反差~
I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry. - Cat Stevens
母亲过世的那夜,凌晨睡梦里,我是被父亲和妹妹的哭喊惊醒;辞旧迎新的鞭炮声中,我是在老家的炕上眼见父亲蹬腿咽气。就如经历过的清贫让我容易对物质满足,很小就直面过死亡的恐惧,让早活过了父母的年龄的我对寿命已是知足了。有人说“今天是你余生的第一天”(Today is the first day for the rest of your life),这话我更多时候的理解是“今天可能是你生命的最后一天”,这或许也是向死而生吧。

把日子过成诗,一般是在把日子过成唯美诗的愿望中把凄美诗过成了日子吧...现在已不在意生活的诗是唯美还是凄美,是长诗还是短诗,简单就好,精致更好。自己能做的,无非是把能把控的做到更好就好。而一但不能在身边寻找到美好,那就去书里寻找...

苦水吐完了,剩下的是过去的一年心存的感念和奋斗的余温,虽然“新年如旧年一样”的愿望是顶奢侈的,还是希望2018请继续对我更好一点~

前几天提前续交了物业费,今早出门,车卡显示还有366天...

十二 29


摘抄的英文句子过五百了,抽空重读了下,有的已经看不懂:(,顺便再挑了些更喜欢的:
1.Everyone's heart is a piece of sea, shining bottomless blue.
2.I always in the deepest despair, meet the most beautiful surprise.
3.Quotation is the highest compliment you can pay an author.
4.A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.
5.I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry.
6.When you want knowledge as you have just wanted air, then you will have knowledge.
7.There is no garden without its weeds.
8.Remember: The person who speaks two languages is worth two.
9.But all sunshine without shade all pleasure without pain is not life at all.
10.We read the world wrong and say it deceives us.
11.Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
12.To teach is to learn twice.
13.Pain is inevitable Suffering is optional
14.We fear loss more than we value gain.
15.The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.
16.Never let success get to your head. And never let failure get to your heart.
17.If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.
18.Every story has an end. But in life, every ending is just a new beginning.
19.If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
20.No matter how many mistakes you have made or how slow you have progressed, you are definitely way ahead of everyone who hasn’t started trying.
21.A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.
22.Life is like freshly fallen snow. Be careful where you walk, because every step will show.
23.The human hand is incapable of making a perfect copy.
24.Every one is a moon and has a dark side, which he never show to anybody.
25.Like sunlight, sunset, we appear we disappear, we are so important to some, but we are just passing through.
26.Question is a journey for student and teacher to quest together.
27.Don’t worry about doing research, Just search.
28.Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
29.I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become.
30.If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, the only thing you can do is not letting them written upon the heart.
31.When the going gets tough, The tough get going.
32.Today is the first day for the rest of your life.
33.Chemistry is physics without though, Mathematics is physics without purpose.
34.Dance as if no one is watching, work as if never need money, Love as if never been hurt.
35.Many leaves, One tree.
36.Today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other.
37.The teacher is not the sage one the stage, but a guide on side.
38.Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But since no one was listening, everything must be said again.
39.All flowers are not in one garland.
40.When I get busy I get stupid.
41.Always be reading a book is a lens to see the world through.
42.The land did not move, but moved. The sea was not still, yet was still.
43.The best way to get approval is not need it.
44.The task of education is not to teach subject, it is to teach students.No school is better than it’s teacher.
45.I’m a slow walker, But I never walk backwards.
46.When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do no see the one which has been opened for us.
47.Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
48.Happiness isn’t getting all you want, It’s enjoying all you have.
49.I always like walking in the rain, So no one can see me crying.
50.Don't get it right, just get it written.
51.Collect moments not things.
52.The size of a man may be measured by the size of the things that make him angry.
53.To travel hopefully is better thing than to arrive.
54.It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
55.The greatest risk in life is to risk nothing.
56.In French, Amateurs means “lover”.
57.Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.
58.Use your smile to change the world. Don’t let the world change your smile.
59.Reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less.
60.It takes courage to follow your mind. But it takes everything to follow your heart.
61.Life is not about waiting for the storm pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
62.God give answers in three ways: He say yes and give you what you want. He say no and gives you something better. He says wait and gives you the best.
63.You laugh at me for being different, but I laugh at you for being the same.
64.An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
65.Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wise. So, thanks the past for a better future.
66.Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.
67.Fate as hand palm, no matter how tortuous, always in their own hands.
68.Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.
69.It's in the nature of the human being to face challenges. We're required to do these things just as salmon swim upstream.
70.Not teaching for perfect, but learning only for improvement.
71.Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
72.Don’t reinvent the wheel.
73.I’m not perfect Never have been Never will be
74.Love all trust few do wrong to none
75.We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
76.A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
77.When people realize they being listened to , they tell you things.
78.To agree without understanding is inane. To disagree without understanding is impudent.
79.If they throw stones at you, don’t throw back, use them to build your own foundation in stead.
80.You don’t became what you want, you became what you believe.
81.Victory isn’t defined by wins or losses. It is defined by effort. If you can truthfully say:I did the best I would. I gave everything I had. Then you’re a winner.
82.We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
83.Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
84.My last salutation are to them who knew me imperfect and loved me.
85.Pain past is pleasure.
86.Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
87.Smoke boasts to the sky, and Ashes to the earth, that they are brothers to the fire.
88.We don’t make movies to make money, we make money to make more movies.